Solving Relationship Problems

Every relationship will have their problems- that is a fact. Whether it is a small problem, a series of problems, or a huge problem, experiencing relationship problems is unavoidable and comes with the package of sharing your life with another person. As common as problems are, there are so many people who still cannot figure out exactly how to problem solve their relationship. The following tips will guide you into better problem solving, so that you can achieve better results and outcomes when relationship troubles to come to surface.

Stop brushing it off! If you are really serious about solving your relationship problems, then prove it to yourself by stopping the “brushing it off” act. Do not lie to yourself that the problem is not so bad, or that it will take care of yourself- you know that it will not!

Target the problem. Before you solve any problem, you are going to have to first target what the problem really is. Once you have that officially figured out, you can then focus on finding reasons to what caused that problem and how you can come to the best solutions.

Work together, not solo. You should never take on all the responsibility in solving your relationship problems. You and your partner have to work together in finding the answers and agree to disagree. If you try figuring everything out by yourself, your partner will never understand what happened and why- and the problems will just come back.

No Quick Fixes- Get Serious! The main mistake that people make when attempting to fix their relationship problems is that they are looking for quick fixes. There is no such thing as a quick fix when it comes to relationship problems. Your relationship is special and deserves your true efforts in improving it. If you do not take the time to review your problems and really focus and pay attention on information that can help you, then you are just fooling yourself and are not really working on your problems- just wishing that you were.

Get an Expert Opinion and Advice. Not all problems can be solved on your own, which is why getting expert advice can be very useful and effective. You will be able to understand your situation more and will be given personal advice that will suit your relationship best. Receiving professional advice from a counseling psychologist and advisor does not mean that you failed or are not good enough to work things out on your own. Everyone needs help sometimes and every person feeds off of each other’s insights every now and then.

How To Get A Girl's Phone Number

The most important tip I can give you about picking up a woman is to MAKE EYE CONTACT with her. Look long and adoringly into her eyes. Never look down (a sign of submission, timidity, and weakness) and never look at a woman's breasts when you're talking to her (a common mistake many men make). Women will reject you and consider you disrespectful if you do. Maintaining eye contact also says to a woman that you are interested in her and that you want to get to know her. This is a pre-requisite (according to women) to get to know how she is in bed.

Also, be sure and SMILE! A smile sends a positive and important message. A smile says, "I will not reject you. I like you." A smile combined with prolonged eye contact says, "I like you a lot. I want to know you. Let's talk." Women who smile back at you and who maintain eye contact with you too are those who will be most receptive to your advances. Note: Raised eyebrows is also a positive signal which you should interpret as a come-on.

These next few tips I want to share with you are truly essential and fall under the heading of WHAT TO SAY. As far as your opening line goes, well, that would be a whole article all by itself. But after you break the ice with an opening line, the very next thing you should say or do is INTRODUCE YOURSELF.

For example, simply say, "Oh, my name is (your Name). I'm pleased to meet you." Just use your first name in informal situations, and both your first and last name in more impersonal situations. Then allow the woman you're picking up to offer you her name. Pause for a moment. If she doesn't offer it, ask her what her name is. Then, and this is very important, USE HER NAME in the very next sentence that comes out of your mouth. Using her name works like magic to put her at ease and makes her more interested in you. A person's name is the most important and powerful word you can ever say.

The next thing you want to say or do is COMPLIMENT HER. Call attention to some detail about her, and flatter her in a totally positive way. Be sure to say something specific, that is special about HER. Be polite and creative when dishing out compliments. The more poetic and/or dramatic you can be, the better the results you'll get. Because men lust with their eyes, BUT women lust with their ears!

A lot of guys ask me what they should talk about once they get a woman's name and after they have complimented her. What you need to do is find out what she wants, what she desires, or what turns her on, her passion or hobby. Ask her questions about that and you will have captivated her completely. Also, always find ways to agree with her. NEVER DISAGREE with a woman when you first meet her. You want to create a context of relatedness, and that's done by agreeing with her.

The last tip I leave you with is NEVER BE SHY ABOUT ASKING HER FOR HER PHONE NUMBER. It doesn't matter that you only just met her. Even if you have only spoken with her for as little as one minute! Be direct. You can say something like, "I have to be going now. But I'd love to see you again. Can I call you?" Without the all important phone number, you will never get anywhere with a woman. Because to score you will need a date. And to get a date you will need the number. So ALWAYS ask for the telephone number!

Important Notes To Maintaining Relationships

We all need one another. Life is about relationships and we need to know how to keep and maintain them.

Below are a few keys to keeping your relationships.

• Appreciate and value your friends.
  
  
• If you take your friends for granted you will eventually loose them.
  
  
• Keep a diary of phone calls and visits especially if you are a very busy person. This may sound funny, but if you don’t, you will wake up one morning to find out that you have drifted apart. This is especially important if you have just met someone and you are just building the relationship.
  
  
• Discuss any issues that may arise. If you have unresolved issues, deal with them and don’t hope they will just go away without confronting them. Unresolved issues may eventually ruin your friendship.
  
  
• However high up you go in life, endeavour to keep your friends that were there for you before you became famous.
  
  
• Respect people and don’t be rude.
  
  
• Return phone calls, emails, text messages, acknowledge cards and gifts.
  
  
• When you perceive that a person has an interest in you or wants to know you more, receive them and open up.
  
  
• Give people allowances.
  
  
  
• If a person asks for your phone number, give it to them and ask for theirs.
  Its show that you are also interested in pursuing the relationship.

First-Date Tips

Don't let nerves or self-doubt get in the way of a great first date. Let me share with you where to go, what to wear and what time to meet. You'll be setting up a second date before dessert!

• When setting up the first date, spend no more than five minutes on the phone. You want there to be an air of mystery, and you want to have a lot to talk about on the actual date.
  
  
• Guys should make the initial call and suggest where to have the date. It shows initiative.
  
  
• Early evenings are a great time for dates. Mornings remind us too much of work, and lunch is too informal. Early evenings allow you the opportunity, if you do like each other, to have more time together.
  
  
• The best places to meet for a first date are public places. Restaurants are safe. Do not go to the movies or secluded, quiet places. Keep it as public as possible.
  
  
• Stay away from bars and the club scene. There are too many people and too much activity. You may lose the focus of your date.
  
  
• Also, stay away from bookstores. That is where you meet, not where you date.
  
  
• A first date should never be a coffee date—it is the direct eye contact that makes women uncomfortable. Try a nice restaurant or take a walk and have a chat.
  
  
• You have 10 seconds to make a first impression, so look your best.
  
  
• When dressing for a first date, dress casual but nice.
  
  
• Do not wear sneakers or sweats.
  
  
• Less is better when it comes to jewelry, which goes for both men and women.
  
  
• Make sure you carry breath mints.
  
  
• Be yourself. Trying to hard to impress can end up leaving a bad impression on your date.
  
  
• Show that you can be sexy, intelligent and beautiful all in the same breath. Do not be afraid to show all those traits. Show your sense of humor, smile and make great eye contact.
  
  
• And, most importantly, be on time!

How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You

The perfect way to get a girl to fall in love with you is not complicated. Usually it is through common sense, advice and solid rules. This is not about those rules and advice. This is about how through basic concepts that once applied can be analyzed and used to strengthen a girl's feeling of love for you. It is love, so rigid advice may not work. Allow this to be more of a fluid guideline.

STEPS

1. Open your eyes. Women are everywhere and women are looking to fall in love. If you want a girl out there to fall in love with you, chances are a girl wants someone out there to fall in love with her. Find a girl anywhere and you are set. It doesn't matter if she is in a bar or if she walks next to you on your way to the bathroom. If you don't know where girls are, try going 1 mile in any direction and look around. Finding a girl is the hardest part, once you find a girl, go to step
   
   
2. Don't set expectations, become like a romantic Buddha, become desireless. Expect nothing from the girl. This is not to say don't want the girl, it is just don't want to want the girl. If you haven't ever talked to her before, don't expect to walk away with her number. If you are friends and want more, don't expect her to go along. Be without want and it will cut out a lot of problems later.
   
   
3. Kill her a mammoth. People don't seem to systematically decide who they fall in love with (well most don't). The process is kind of "messed up". It often comes with time, and time is often needed. So in the transition of falling in love, you need to show the girl that you are worth being around. This is the fun part! Show her you are nice, talented, or smart. Hell, show her you can be cynical and rude about everything. Show her you can do calculus or jump rope or sing. No matter how stupid it may seem, show her you are lovable and she will begin to love you on her own. Remember - this is where you need to be yourself! Have fun with her. There are no specifics to this step. Just show her who you are and put yourself out there.
   
   
4. Give her space. This step can be looked at in many ways and can get distorted easily. The point is to let her give herself what she needs in order to fall in love with you. Space is somehow what is most common or most traditional for some reason. The point is to give the girl the control of what happens next. This step isn't about ignoring her so SHE has to call you, or avoiding long conversations with her to torment her into loving you. Just allow her to live her life outside you. Allow her to walk away from the bar at any point. Allow her to see a movie without you. Allow her to be without you and she will then decide to love you on her own terms.
   
   
5. Honest and open. Tell her truthful things about what you think and feel. Easy enough? if you love the girl, tell her. If you think she is pretty, tell her. If you think she has too many keys on her key chain, but it really doesn't matter and is a cute little quirk she has, tell her. Let her know what is going on with you. But be careful not to be a kissup. If she is a pretty girl and you can tell guys are always kissing, try to be different from them.
   
   
6. Be ready to sacrifice. There is always something that gets in the way with love. People miss love all the time because of life. A job opportunity comes up, another person comes into the picture, someone isn't ready. Realize that a sacrifice will have to be made. It may be something huge or maybe something trivial. Look for it, it will be around the corner...
   
   
7. Smile! Be funny! Girls love a sense of humor, but don't go around pranking people and making wise cracks; girls don't like that.

-Relationship Dr.-